In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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