If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
