It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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