the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
