i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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