thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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