i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
