how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
