he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
