Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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