I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
