I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
