So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
only you would photoshop your dick
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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