Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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