I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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