I think my vagina is haunted
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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