Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
