Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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