Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
