His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
