Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
