is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
