she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
