dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Quick, to the slutcave!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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