If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
