Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
