You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
