As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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