I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Semen is not good for contacts.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
