Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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