Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize