im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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