The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
