the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize