Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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