her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Quick, to the slutcave!
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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