Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He kissed a someone with a penis
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
i've created a new STD.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
