i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
