Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
