Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
