brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
