Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
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