i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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