Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize