How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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