don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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