Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I want to be your penis for a week.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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