i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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