Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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