Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
