What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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