guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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