Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize