Are we in a gay sports bar?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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