Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
