Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
