Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
