So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
