No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm sobbing to NWA
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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