nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
