I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
