recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
its liver damage thursday
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
