All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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