i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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