so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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