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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
