Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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