Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
